While I (Allyson) have been the main voice in this blog, I've always wanted to open up the blog to the others so they could talk about what they learned, what blew them away...Here is what the others received from this experience.
Possibly the worst 2 weeks of my life where spent on an expensive “canned” tour in Tibet. I swore that I would never take another organized tour, let alone put one together. I also swore in 1996 that I would never return to India. Apparently, I am not very good at keeping promises to myself. This summer, I composed a Buddhist-oriented tour in Northern India, and I have returned to India nearly 15 times.
I confess impatience with friends and fanaticizers who opine “next year I will go to India” (10 years later no Indian Visa has been sought) or, “when I retire I am going to India for sure.” When you have saved enough money, done enough research, or are not too old, suffering, or sick to make the trip. (I don’t say this out loud). “When you decide to go, let me know and I will give you some contacts” I say with dubious respect.
As the baby boomers come of age, (old age that is), there is a nostalgia for the 60’s travel to India they never took: Rishikesh, Maharishi, Ravi Shankar, Osho, enlightenment, that sort of thing. Instead, unlike the “hippies,” they opted to start babies and a pension. But now they are ready to see what that “India thing” is all about, what they might have missed back then.
What is holding India explorers back now are the Malaria Mary stories that have been circulating for the last 40 years: bad food, bad water, bugs, snakes, rabid dogs, cults, the Kama sutra, unscrupulous vendors and taxi drivers with cousins with hotels and great deals, and robberies at Delhi railway station, diarrhea, vomiting, near death experiences, and Nescafe substituted for coffee.
Because all of the above have happened to me, except snakes, rabid dogs, and cultists, and because of the “what not to do” Tibet tour, I figured I was in a good position to call the boomer bluff and fulfill the dormant Indian fantasies of my friends and their friends. A group of five Buddhists, plus one as-yet uncommitted, ponied up to face their fears and do it anyway. I was also facing fears, but I needed to appear fearless in the face of a tour to India.
I assembled an intrepid team of two Tibetans and a Hindu in India. I listed the disclaimers: I am not a guide, this is not a tour, I am not the leader, “you get what you get”, no guarantees. I felt our India team might be able to deliver the heart of Tibetan Buddhism on the two week “tour”, but not the heart of India. Everyone was looking for something different!
My trepidations: someone might die (that turned out to be me with altitude sickness), food, water, bugs, diarrhea and vomiting, boredom, moving too fast, moving too slow, group dynamics, earthquakes (of which I warned them) unfulfilled fantasies, disappointment, and the worry that the travelers would not “get” India--and that that would be my fault. In summary, mine was the fear that they would not get their money’s worth.
How it turned out
The group was forgiving. Each person took responsibility for their own experience. The dynamics were copacetic, and the two Tibetans and their colleagues delivered the heart of Tibetan Buddhism. The Hindu delivered India, and the group came home alive--and enlivened. They “got India” each in his or her own way, which is how we all take in the unfathomable India.
Thank you to Aleeta, Gordon, Allyson, Navnit (and Hagrid), Katie, and David for running your own tour.
We were buying a bedspread in Jaipur and the one we had chosen had mirrors in it. Allyson reminded us that with our cats and dogs sleeping on our bed, this one was not a practical choice, and she explained that to the shopkeeper. I will never forget the look on the his face as he tried to digest this image of us with the animals. The wild skinny dogs outside lived on the street and the image of getting into bed with one of these was funny. We were all struck by this difference in perception and it cracked us up for the rest of the day.
Driving in India is wild; there is an unspoken order that does not make sense to us Westerners. We counted up to five people on a motorcycle and nine in a tuk tuk that could comfortably sit four. Cars do not stay in lanes and three lanes is actually a five lane highway. Drivers relate through a system of honking that grates our nervous system. No elbows out the window or you will lose skin to the next car. Crazy, but I felt safer driving there than here and I understand they have a lower accident rate.Why? Perhaps because drivers need to stay alert and speeding is not the same option. Also cars relate to each other, and are not isolated, and there is communication between drivers.
Getting an Ayurvedic massage from a young woman who stood over me while I dressed and undressed, trying to help me. I was at first worried about exposing my money belt and her closeness but then remembered that personal space is more a Western concept. Visiting Tekla in her train compartment to find a family of a 6 sprawled out not just on their 2 narrow bunks, but also on hers while she tried to read quietly. It reminded me of when I first immigrated to Canada and I would get these looks and people moving away from me as I tried to understand a new sense of boundaries. Saying things that were inappropriate and taking on that I do not have good social skills. I had forgotten I had grown up with a different norm.
Getting ready to meet the His Holiness, the Dalai Lama and a translator/ friend asking me if I was excited. I said that was not the correct word to describe my feelings. More a sense of something incredibly significant occurring that was not about celebrity but humanity. He acknowledged what I was feeling and broke out with " you must meditate as much as you can!". I started to cry and repeating "I know". He really is just a simple monk who has done the work, the very long hard hours over many lifetimes. I hope I am not being presumptuous here in any way, he is my deepest teacher but I think with all due respect and humility I got this. Anyone of us can do the work.
Katie's reflections
- Aleeta and I stood watching
the chaotic cacophony of sounds and beings on the street and I said "It's no wonder people got enlightened first in India. Where else?"
I don't know why I said that but we looked at each other and agreed it made total sense. - After my first 24 hours in India, I woke up in tears.
Reggie always says your body receives all the input from the world and sifts it for you so you only need to consciously cope with a tiny bit of it. Well my body clearly was overloaded - like a backed up toilet. India challenges the human system. - I felt like a fish (western woman) out of
water (a Sikh society) in Amritsar, until I stepped into the grounds of
the golden temple.
Whoosh - I was in the same big space we all seek. - In a clothing shop with the shop keeper in Dharamsala, Aleeta
was asking why he was so suspicious of using tourist's credit cards.
He said that he expected tourists in India to be more likely to cheat (like canceling a charge on a card after buying something) because for most, I-N-D-I-A means I Never Do It Again; or they never come back. But India is so spectacular that I truly hope I can meditate in a place like HHDL's temple or Padmasambhava's cave again before I reincarnate! I just think of India as I will do it again, somehow. How about: I'd kNowingly Do It Again?
 |
| Katie at Alchi temple |
10 things Gordon learned
- You are never too busy to treat your guests with great honour and hospitality. Likewise for friends.
- Traffic lines and rules on roads are really just suggestions.
- Petroleum-based vehicles are evil and will be the downfall of the modern world.
- Sometimes you have to pay attention and work hard to hear really important information.
- Indians have a social intelligence that goes far beyond anything we have in North America.
- India may have issues with clean water but they really understand the value of fresh food for a healthy diet.
- In Canada, we live in ignorance as to how much we have been given and really need to not sweat the small stuff.
- One of the greatest gifts that Buddhism is giving to the West is compassion in action.
- Meditation practice works. Two hours a day will change your life. Let go of the excuses. They are just that--excuses. H. H. the Dalai Lama did the work.
- The Himalayas are beyond words.
 |
| Gordon in Jairpur |
Tekla's confessions / reflections
or
"I never wanted to be a small 't' tour guide"
Possibly the worst 2 weeks of my life where spent on an expensive “canned” tour in Tibet. I swore that I would never take another organized tour, let alone put one together. I also swore in 1996 that I would never return to India. Apparently, I am not very good at keeping promises to myself. This summer, I composed a Buddhist-oriented tour in Northern India, and I have returned to India nearly 15 times.
I confess impatience with friends and fanaticizers who opine “next year I will go to India” (10 years later no Indian Visa has been sought) or, “when I retire I am going to India for sure.” When you have saved enough money, done enough research, or are not too old, suffering, or sick to make the trip. (I don’t say this out loud). “When you decide to go, let me know and I will give you some contacts” I say with dubious respect.
As the baby boomers come of age, (old age that is), there is a nostalgia for the 60’s travel to India they never took: Rishikesh, Maharishi, Ravi Shankar, Osho, enlightenment, that sort of thing. Instead, unlike the “hippies,” they opted to start babies and a pension. But now they are ready to see what that “India thing” is all about, what they might have missed back then.
What is holding India explorers back now are the Malaria Mary stories that have been circulating for the last 40 years: bad food, bad water, bugs, snakes, rabid dogs, cults, the Kama sutra, unscrupulous vendors and taxi drivers with cousins with hotels and great deals, and robberies at Delhi railway station, diarrhea, vomiting, near death experiences, and Nescafe substituted for coffee.
Because all of the above have happened to me, except snakes, rabid dogs, and cultists, and because of the “what not to do” Tibet tour, I figured I was in a good position to call the boomer bluff and fulfill the dormant Indian fantasies of my friends and their friends. A group of five Buddhists, plus one as-yet uncommitted, ponied up to face their fears and do it anyway. I was also facing fears, but I needed to appear fearless in the face of a tour to India.
I assembled an intrepid team of two Tibetans and a Hindu in India. I listed the disclaimers: I am not a guide, this is not a tour, I am not the leader, “you get what you get”, no guarantees. I felt our India team might be able to deliver the heart of Tibetan Buddhism on the two week “tour”, but not the heart of India. Everyone was looking for something different!
My trepidations: someone might die (that turned out to be me with altitude sickness), food, water, bugs, diarrhea and vomiting, boredom, moving too fast, moving too slow, group dynamics, earthquakes (of which I warned them) unfulfilled fantasies, disappointment, and the worry that the travelers would not “get” India--and that that would be my fault. In summary, mine was the fear that they would not get their money’s worth.
How it turned out
The group was forgiving. Each person took responsibility for their own experience. The dynamics were copacetic, and the two Tibetans and their colleagues delivered the heart of Tibetan Buddhism. The Hindu delivered India, and the group came home alive--and enlivened. They “got India” each in his or her own way, which is how we all take in the unfathomable India.
Thank you to Aleeta, Gordon, Allyson, Navnit (and Hagrid), Katie, and David for running your own tour.
 |
| Tekla and Suresh at Farewell dinner |
Aleeta's reflections
The
walk to the Dalai Lama temple involves moving through a lane of buyers,
sellers and money lenders. As you enter the gates of the temple you are
met with beggars, women with babies, deformation, animals, poop…the
temple itself is clean and spacious but very simple. Shrine rooms house
the Geshes and Lamas in deep practice and these are open for all to
see, tourists and practitioners walk by, many taking pictures. We sit
down to meditate in the outer temple with the locals, some of them
prostrating, including women in their senior years. For people like me
concentration takes focus as I am enamored by this display. As I turn
inward I find it hard to maintain any sense of my own propriety. I fall
into the strength of the energy and it is a vast compassionate space
that holds me yet all my stuff around my relationship to the layers of
humanity I have witnessed arise and I cannot hide. My reactions and
judgements. The face of the woman with her deformed child, the body
posture of beggars,the aggressive sellers, the smells, the noise, the
constant honking, the judgements, the gawkers taking pictures and my
deep reaction to all this but also the love and warmth and hospitality I
have experienced on a level I have not known before. l Iove India, i
love it's wildness. Through it all I hit deep space of awareness and
acceptance. Katie's words ring for me "no wonder people got enlightened
here first".
We were buying a bedspread in Jaipur and the one we had chosen had mirrors in it. Allyson reminded us that with our cats and dogs sleeping on our bed, this one was not a practical choice, and she explained that to the shopkeeper. I will never forget the look on the his face as he tried to digest this image of us with the animals. The wild skinny dogs outside lived on the street and the image of getting into bed with one of these was funny. We were all struck by this difference in perception and it cracked us up for the rest of the day.
Driving in India is wild; there is an unspoken order that does not make sense to us Westerners. We counted up to five people on a motorcycle and nine in a tuk tuk that could comfortably sit four. Cars do not stay in lanes and three lanes is actually a five lane highway. Drivers relate through a system of honking that grates our nervous system. No elbows out the window or you will lose skin to the next car. Crazy, but I felt safer driving there than here and I understand they have a lower accident rate.Why? Perhaps because drivers need to stay alert and speeding is not the same option. Also cars relate to each other, and are not isolated, and there is communication between drivers.
Getting an Ayurvedic massage from a young woman who stood over me while I dressed and undressed, trying to help me. I was at first worried about exposing my money belt and her closeness but then remembered that personal space is more a Western concept. Visiting Tekla in her train compartment to find a family of a 6 sprawled out not just on their 2 narrow bunks, but also on hers while she tried to read quietly. It reminded me of when I first immigrated to Canada and I would get these looks and people moving away from me as I tried to understand a new sense of boundaries. Saying things that were inappropriate and taking on that I do not have good social skills. I had forgotten I had grown up with a different norm.
Getting ready to meet the His Holiness, the Dalai Lama and a translator/ friend asking me if I was excited. I said that was not the correct word to describe my feelings. More a sense of something incredibly significant occurring that was not about celebrity but humanity. He acknowledged what I was feeling and broke out with " you must meditate as much as you can!". I started to cry and repeating "I know". He really is just a simple monk who has done the work, the very long hard hours over many lifetimes. I hope I am not being presumptuous here in any way, he is my deepest teacher but I think with all due respect and humility I got this. Anyone of us can do the work.
 |
| Aleeta at H.H. Dalai Lama's teachings |
What Navnit learned
Lesson
#10 - To say it as it is
During
airline flights, I always reflect on the important safety instruction of
placing your own oxygen mask on before helping another as a metaphor for my own
life. I am a giver and I appreciate the reminder to help myself before rushing
to help others. So, I especially enjoyed the GoAir Domestic Flight to Leh and
their version of this very important point. During the safety demo they said
something like “If the air pressure in the cabin changes, the mask will come
down. Stop screaming and put on the mask.” I was so caught by surprise by this
remark that I burst out laughing. Yes of course that would be wise to stop
screaming and put it on. I truly appreciate the candidness of the Indian
people.
Lesson #9 - To go with the flow
Almost
everywhere, we were forced to deal with challenges in interesting ways.
I learned to embrace “Indian Time” and the “Indian Menu” and to be aware of my
resistance to being uncomfortable. Once I realized I wouldn’t always get what I
wanted, I started to have a lot more fun. An example that comes to mind is when
we stopped in Jaipur to eat but I needed to use the toilet. The power had gone
out and it was pitch black. I grabbed my headlamp and put it on my head.
Allyson accompanied me to the dark dungeon that lead to a toilet with a
miniscule hole in the ground. While I was learning to tough it out with Indian
toilets, and the holes in the ground, but this was absolutely ridiculous. I was
horrified by that hole in the ground! But then I took a deep breath, tried to
laugh and allowed myself to be consoled by Allyson. She’s so sharp and good
under pressure. I really appreciate that quality.She ended up finding a seperate toilet for
women. When I finally accepted the toilet situation, then I relaxed. I see how
my resistance to whatever arises only hurts me more.
Lesson #8 - My baby, Hagrid, is a great icebreaker
Wherever
I went, Hagrid was sure to bring smiles and amusement. I discovered that people
all over India, regardless of age, liked to engage with him. Hagrid really
brought out the playful side in everyone. Even the gentle Geshes who started
cradling him and hugging him. I even arranged his inter-cultural arranged
marriage with a lovely Ladakhi girl named Dowa Dolma. (Actually her name was
Tenzin but our Llama in Dharmasala renamed her).
Lesson #7- My real work is at home
I went
to India and Jamyang School with the idea that I would be able to give back and
do some good for the underprivileged. Yet I was met with an unexpected surprise
and realization on our first visit to the school. All the children were lined
up to welcome us! They greeted us with smiles, greetings, bowing, and much love.
I was so touched when I looked in their eyes and saw so much presence,
compassion and joy. They were part of the Jamyang family and they knew it. They
were welcoming us into their home. I realized that they helped me more than I
helped them. The ones who needed me more were my students back home, some of
which were actually suffering more than these children.
Lesson #6- I want to nurture the Indian notion of community and hospitality
This is
what I miss the most about India. I felt so connected and cared for by everyone
over there. People treated me like family and I really felt it in my entire
being. I especially felt so taken care of when I became extremely sick in
Ladakh during our second visit. Our friends Tenzin and Geshe Tsultrim visited
often and brought doctors and medicine to help us heal. I was especially
touched by their meditations to help us heal, which really helped! The staff at
the hotel checked in on us and brought us food and water to our room even at
crazy hours.
Lesson #5- Happiness can show up in the most surprising places
Our
visit to the sacred holy village of Alchi brought much joy. We visited our
Geshe’s home and his family welcomed us with delicious food, butter/mint tea
and treated us with so much kindness. They insisted on dressing us up in their
traditional Ladakhi clothing. I felt transformed into a Ladakhi girl. It was
absolutely heartwarming to be with them in this way.
We went
on to visit several buddhist temples and monasteries. My heart ached not with
sadness but with joy when we were inside. The energy of the place was so
serene, grounding and ancient. I remember saying on the bus, “I can’t remember
the last time I was this happy. I’m here where I belong in a sense--my real
home.” Plus, it didn’t hurt that our driver Dorje was incredibly handsome.
Lesson #4 - Gratitude for Sangha
I have
traveled alone many times in my life but I realized the value of traveling with
Sangha. I learned so much about life and my own patterns from the support and
care of my friends. Tekla organized a transformative experience that has
changed my life and I will be forever grateful for that. I loved the
leadership, energy, and support from Aleeta and Gordon. Meditating together in
another country is so powerful and supportive. Their door was always open for
that. My roommate Allyson was so organized and methodical that it rubbed off on
me! She was always so attentive and caring. I treasure our heart-to-heart
conversations. I could not have asked for a better roomie. :) Everyone was so
open about what was going on for them during check ins. I appreciate how we
were all concerned about each other. Aleeta would always say, “We are one
organism.”
Lesson #3 - I am Universal
The Golden Temple was not at all what I expected. From the moment I stepped into the presence of the temple, I was truly overwhelmed with emotion. I felt the devotion of true Sikhs. They were all around doing Seva and worshipping. It was so different from some of my disillusioning experiences back home where some people are more concerned with your outfit than with spiritual connection. My entire being was vibrating with life. I felt a shimmery, tingly feeling in my feet which spread through my entire body. As night fell and we listened to the religious text, I became mesmerized by the water and the moon. I felt as though the glistening light and the water was speaking to me. It was telling me I am a Sikh. I am Universal. I saw my root religion in a new light.
The Golden Temple was not at all what I expected. From the moment I stepped into the presence of the temple, I was truly overwhelmed with emotion. I felt the devotion of true Sikhs. They were all around doing Seva and worshipping. It was so different from some of my disillusioning experiences back home where some people are more concerned with your outfit than with spiritual connection. My entire being was vibrating with life. I felt a shimmery, tingly feeling in my feet which spread through my entire body. As night fell and we listened to the religious text, I became mesmerized by the water and the moon. I felt as though the glistening light and the water was speaking to me. It was telling me I am a Sikh. I am Universal. I saw my root religion in a new light.
Lesson #2- It’s possible to live without technology
I forgot some important things at home during my packing prior to the trip. So I lived
without some forms of media that usually dominate my life like my Macbook Pro,
iPad, cell phone, and camera charger. It was hard at first to not be constantly
connected to my email, texting and the internet but at some point I just let it
go. I actually came into the moment and became more present with my daily
experiences in India. I wasn’t constantly checking my phone and was more
connected with people. I did check my email and class blog a few times, but in
general I experienced what it means to be unplugged. It was refreshing and
eye-opening. I would really recommend it for anyone who wants to see life
through a different lens.
Lesson #1 - Meditation Practice is key
Meeting the 17th
Karmapa and his Holiness the Dalai Lama was a life changing experience that
words cannot fully express. So I will not even try to explain what happened for
me. What I will say is that I came to understand that they did not become such
powerful and compassionate beings by accident. Neither were they simply born
that way. Their meditation practice has made them who they are. This applies to
all the caring and compassionate souls I crossed paths with on my travels. This
lesson has affirmed more than anything else my desire to make my meditation practice a
priority in my life. |
| Navnit in Leh during a power outage |
David
 |
| David with Rose at Tibetan Children's Village |
Thank you everyone. I love all your reflections on this amazing trip. Thanks for letting me tag along. Dale
ReplyDeleteThank you every one for taking the time to share your experiences. I have been deeply moved by your reflections.
ReplyDelete